


Tear in My Heart

by glimpseofbliss



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allison/Stiles/Derek are siblings, Canon Typical Violence, F/F, Minor Character Death, Minor Magical Coercion, Soulmates AU, alcohol mention, blood mention, mate marks, minor child neglect, werewolves are known
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4640988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glimpseofbliss/pseuds/glimpseofbliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Allison?" She hears Lydia call but doesn't see her, can't see those pretty warm eyes. </p><p>"Oh man, how'd I die?" She mumbles, shaking her head. She hears Lydia laugh and thinks of how cruel it must be to live without her.</p><p>"You're drunk," Lydia's suddenly squatting in front of her, long hair hanging over her shoulders. The smirk on her face fills Allison with want and it'd be so easy to kiss her right now, just smash her lips onto Lydia's perfect ones.</p><p>"Umnotdrunk." Allison responds, keeping her eyes trained on Lydia's full mouth, watching every movement like it was crucial to her existence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tear in My Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CasTheButler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasTheButler/gifts).



**Rating _:_** M

 **Word Count _:_**  16,664

 **Main Pairings _:_**  Allison x Lydia 

 **Warnings _:_**  Magical Coercion, Minor character death, Minor child neglect, Canon Typical Violence, Alcohol Mention, Blood Mention, Soul Mates AU 

 **Link to ao3** : <http://archiveofourown.org/works/4640988>

 **Summary** : 

_"Allison?" She hears Lydia call but doesn't see her, can't see those pretty warm eyes._

_"Oh man, how'd I die?" She mumbles, shaking her head. She hears Lydia laugh and thinks of how cruel it must be to live without her._

_"You're drunk," Lydia's suddenly squatting in front of her, long hair hanging over her shoulders. The smirk on her face fills Allison with want and it'd be so easy to kiss her right now, just smash her lips onto Lydia's perfect ones._

_"Umnotdrunk." Allison responds, keeping her eyes trained on Lydia's full mouth, watching every movement like it was crucial to her existence._

**This is part of the[teenwolffemslashexchange](http://tmblr.co/m5WADArVNsQD46XJItgAEkA) as a gift to [ultravioletcasper](http://tmblr.co/mQXW3K2I_ziUNwXfxXa087w)**

"Cora..."

"Yes, beautiful?"

"Ha... I think you left something here.. Something important.." Allison felt like her heart was about to hop out of her throat and join Cora on her flight. She hears rustling in the background and an announcement for flight 0798

"No, I'm pretty sure I got everything. Kira's in the bathroom so I didn't leave her." She sounds distracted, like she's actually looking for something and Allison groans and eyes the blanket settled on her couch.

"You forgot your fucking kid, you animal." The two year old shifts under the sheet and Allison jumps back as if he's going to attack her at any moment.

"Allison, you're fucking with me right? You told me you'd watch him last month, you said and I quote 'It's my duty as a aunt and a citizen of the United States of America to babysit this child while you and Kira go fall in love.'" Allison also threw up in the bushes that night and called Scott to tell him she's glad she isn't his soul mate because when he smiles his eyes crinkled and she can't have that in a man.

"I was drunk out of my goddamn  **MIND** , Cora! I have to go to work, why couldn't you leave him with the boys? Or Malia? Someone who knows how to care for a child?" She winces at how whiny and silly she must sound.

"Because, Rosie, I didn't want to leave you alone for months. The guy you were dating for years just found his soulmate, I couldn't leave my baby sis alone like that." Cora's voice falters like she's about to cry and Allison feels stupid for making such a big deal out of babysitting, especially when it was done to make her feel better.

"Fine, you're right. I'm sorry, Coral. Go have fun with your mate and do mate like things and don't get married before I give her the mandatory 'I'm a trained hunter and I will feel no remorse cutting your head off and hanging it on my wall if you even look at her the wrong way,' speech." Cora squeaks and she hears Kira laughing in the background,

"Okay, I'm hanging up. Please don't turn my child into a killer, K. Love you beautiful." She hangs up and the feeling of hysteria Allison felt before starts creeping up again, her palms sweating and her knees wobbling like a virgin at prom. Her throat is tightening with the fear of taking care of another person and when Zayden sits up she wants to scream. It's not that she doesn't like babies, she loves Zayden as if he were her own child. But she has no time or experience in taking care of a 2 year old and with her luck, she might lose the baby in the house and never find him again. Zayden reaches his hands out to her and she runs over, cooing and praying for death at the same time.

Getting him ready takes longer than getting herself ready, putting his onesie on backwards twice and in the end she's still not positive that his diaper is on the right way. She attempts to feed him some of the green gunk Cora left, combating his hands and sudden jerks towards the spoon and ends up with more of it on herself than in his mouth and twenty minutes to go before she has to be at the precinct. She changes into a blue sundress and prays that Zayden isn't still in the random spit up phase, because she fucking loves this dress and it'll be a pity to have to kill Cora if anything happened to it. She's runs out of the house with a bagel hanging from her mouth and almost forgets Zayden in the baby carrier on the couch, it's almost like Cora wanted her to neglect her child.

"You know what's funny, Angel?" She asks him in the car, watching him happily kick the seat from the rear view mirror. "I could probably have your mother arrested for leaving you with me, it's a known fact that I am not a qualified caretaker of anything besides guns and old movies." She turns slowly into the precinct parking lot, almost crashing into the car in front of her when Zayden shouts out the window. Parking and soothing her nerves, she grabs all of their things and fumbles out the car, letting Zayden run ahead into the office.

"Friend's kid?" The security guard asks, waving down at Zayden and getting a raspberry in return.

"Sister's kid." He laughs and she grabs Zayden up, throwing him over her shoulder and walking up to her floor. The moment she puts him down Zayden runs into Erica's office and Jesus Christ, she's gonna get fired because of a two year old.

"Whose baby is this?" Erica calls, walking out with Zayden laying on her shoulder and playing with her dangling earrings. Allison raises her hand meekly, hoping Erica kills her quickly.

"Sorry, Ms. Reyes. I couldn't find a sitter in time." Zayden babbles to Erica and Allison has a feeling she's not getting either of their attention, judging by the look on Erica's face as Zayden goes on she isn't wrong.

"It's okay, I understand Argent. But while he is precious, he can't stay here. Do you know any sitters?" She runs her hands through Zayden's dark mass of curls and smiles at him.

"No, never needed one." Liam walks behind her, playfully nudging her and laughing quietly. He mutters something that sounds like 'cute' under his breath and she turns bright red, ducking her head when Erica finally looks up at her.

"I know a girl, I'll give you her number and you'll talk about a proper care plan for this Prince. I'll watch him while you do that." She turns on her heels chatting with Zayden and beckoning Allison to follow. She stumbles and trips over her own feet trying to follow her in, all grace and stealth training flying out the door. It's not that Allison was scared of her, Erica was the sweetest, smartest, most humble person Allison had ever seen in a position of power excluding the president of Uruguay. So Allison wasn't scared of her, she actually really liked her, enough to make her stupid and giddy around her.

"So, who's baby? Your mate's?" Erica asks conversationally, flipping through papers while Zayden played in her arms.

"Ma'am I can hold him and no, he's my nephew. My sister just found her mate so I offered."

"That's very sweet of you, Argent. What's your mate think of this?" It's a normal sort of question but it makes Allison sit back against her seat and raise a brow, all this mate talk is a little bit more personal than Erica usually is.

"My mate thinks nothing of this, because I don't have a mate." Erica blushes and stutters an apology and Allison grins at the wall, biting the inside of her lip in triumph. The red from her cheeks spreads to her neck and Allison wants to laugh, she didn't expect Erica to be so flustered by her response but she's kinda glad she is.

"Here, call her and get to work. I'll watch him till she gets here. Also, um, come see me before you leave." She shoves a paper at her and Allison nods, still gnawing at her lip. She thanks Erica and walks out with a little extra sway in her hips, she loves to tease.

"You finally fuck the captain?" Liam whispers when she gets to their desk and she laughs loudly, her face feels hot and she starts to rub her hands over her cheeks.

"I wish. Do your work and mind your own business, I have to call a sitter before she steals Angel from me."

"I thought his name was Zayden."

"It is." She picks up the phone and dials, resting it between her ear and shoulder. "But I was watching Angel one day and I was just struck by the revelation. Doesn't he kinda look like David Boreanaz? Kid is a total fucking swo- oh my god." Someone had picked up and was coughing into the phone, Allison could've sworn she'd heard people laughing in the background.

"Hi, this is Soraya of Ariel's Child Care. Don't want em, we'll take em." A high voice chimes into the phone.

"Hi, I'm so sorry about that. I'd like to, uh, hear about your care packages and pricing."

"Sure thing," Allison listens to papers shuffling in the background and Soraya comes back onto the phone. "Okay so I'll start with the lowest prices. We have a 2-5 package where we basically take care of your child for 3 hours in your home, that package is $150, $50 per hour. We have the overnighter package where we take care of your child from 7:30PM to 9AM, time may vary based on your requests and our availability that's usually $200 - $500. Then we have the Live-In Nanny package that's where a sitter lives with you for however long you want, minimum time allowed for this package to be valid is 1 week, prices may vary but 1 week is an estimated $700 if you pay for living expenses $1,050 if you do not. Living expenses include rooming, food, car and train fare and there is no maximum time limit on this package. Any questions?"

"None at all. Um...," She took a second so she wouldn't be seem too eager to get this kid off her back. "I think I'd like to go with the Live-In Nanny package. All expenses paid and if she doesn't have transportation I can provide that." A couple grand on a nanny was nothing to her, as long as Angel was taken care of, safe and needed her to take care of him as little as possible she'd pay all she had to.

"For how long would you like to book your nanny?"

"Three months, all expenses paid. Like a little vaycay." Allison jokes and Soraya hums politely, typing on something in the background.

"Alright, your subtotal is $8,400. You'll be required to pay once every two weeks and a $200 deposit must be made at the nanny's point of arrival, making your grand total $8,600. Now please allow us a few minutes to gather all of your personal information and a meeting point for you and your nanny."

The whole process was way longer than a few minutes and by the time Allison had set up a meeting point, a diner downtown at 2:30, Liam was almost done with last nights paperwork and the coffee he'd gotten her had gone lukewarm. She finally dives into her own manila folder and Liam starts to prattle on about some girl he saw last night at a club,

"Why are you so hung up over her?" She mumbles, signing a paper in front of her with an unnecessary flourish.

"I just told you Als, she's my mate. Can you believe that? You know I always thought that it wouldn't happen to me or it wouldn't happen this early but it happened just like people say it does, Ally. I felt a pull in my chest, it wasn't painful you know, but Jesus fucking Christ was it annoying. She had the mark right on her shoulder, where mine is." He's pointing at the mate mark on his shoulder in the shape of a bowl.

"What was it? And did you figure why she was so obsessed with bowls?" Allison absentmindedly rubs at her own mate mark on her inner thigh, turning to give Liam her full attention.

"Mines was my father's bull tattoo, that's how I kinda knew it was her. And I didn't ask her, I was too busy freaking out."

"I can imagine, what did she say when you approached her?"

"You and your girlfriend gave me a ticket once." Allison barked out a laugh that had Roy three desks down rolling his eyes. "I can't believe I didn't feel the pull then, but then again I just got this like last year so. She's a total badass, I've arrested her a couple times too like once..." Allison felt bad for tuning him out but she wasn't in the mood to hear another person's love story, no matter how adorable it was or how happy Liam looked. She thought Scott was going to be the one, was so sure of it in fact that she let him propose to her without even seeing her mate mark. Thought whatever magic it was that matched mates together was going to wait until she was 26 to kick in, turns out that wasn't the case. Turns out she wasn't the one, that the one was a guy in Canada that he met on the flight back home to her. So no, she wasn't really in the mood to hear about love when she had just lost hers.

Which didn't make sense, considering how eager she was to get with Erica.

But whatever right?

When 2 rolled around, she hit her knee sliding out of her desk and limped over to Erica's office to fetch Zayden. When she walked in, he was sleeping on the couch in the far left corner and Erica was hidden behind her computer. Allison stood at the door of her office, taking in the haphazardly stacked papers next to her blonde head, the multiple cartons of take-out on the small table behind her and the pillow and blanket she has settled with Zayden on the couch. She keeps her smile to herself, she knew Erica had been staying overnight and finds it really sweet.

"Hey boss, I'm going to take him to the nanny now. I appreciate you watching him in the mean time." Erica jumps and Allison hates how the words sound awkward on her tongue and when Erica looks up at her through her thick glasses, Allison feels the need to fidget with her dress.

"He was no problem, but I did want to talk to you." She gets up and walks around to where Allison is standing and leans against the desk, trying and failing to maintain her cool demeanor. "I wanted to know if uh.. Heh, oh god," Erica gnaws at her lip and turns bright red but refuses to drop Allison's stare.

Allison is known for being forward and once she realizes what Erica is trying to say she widens her eyes and giggles. "Dinner and a movie sounds great, maybe this Friday after work?" Allison grins when Erica blushes deeper and nods, playing with her fingers nervously and now she's barely meeting her eyes. Allison covers a laugh behind a fit of coughs and goes to carefully pick up Zayden, grabbing his bag and giving a still baffled Erica a blinding smile. "Be back in 30." She calls over her shoulder.

She puts the car seat upfront and covers Zayden with a blanket, never minding the fact that it's 88 degrees outside because everyone likes to sleep with a blanket and that's something she'd fight anyone on. She's giddy during the drive to the diner, tapping her fingers on the wheel and singing along to every song on her shuffle even listening to a random U2 song that wasn't so bad. When she pulls up to the meeting spot they'd agreed on, she almost drives away. She was honestly expecting an older bitter woman who wore long black dresses and had a snaggletooth. What she wasn't expecting was a gorgeous redhead, in a lavender mini dress and maroon heels, reapplying her lipstick and leaning on a blue Prius with a Ariel's Child Care sticker on the bumper in bright green letters. Allison gets out and hesitates at her car door before she cautiously approaches the girl, who was equal amounts terrifying and beautiful and made Allison feel inferior.

"Are you Lay, uh excuse me I forgot your name I'm sorry." She feels her face heat up and runs her restless hands through her straight hair, knowing she's gonna regret that in a few. The girl puts her lipstick into a maroon clutch and fixes her with a stare that would terrify a petulant child, it makes Allison feel dumb and she bites at her lip nervously.

"Lydia. Or Ms. Martin is fine if you can't remember that." There's a bit of sass in her voice that makes Allison's eyebrows shoot up, Allison was paying her 8 grand to watch a two year old the least she could do was kiss a little ass, just a little to satisfy Allison's ego.

"I'll remember that just fine, Ms. Lydia. So do I pay you now or what?" Allison crosses her arms and watches the girl, mildly annoyed.

"Hm," the girl purses her lips and looks Allison up and down, scrutinizing her and God did Allison want to punch her. "You can pay me when you get home from work, I just need the baby and the house keys." She gives her a tight lipped smile and stands up, straightening her dress and walking over to Allison's car. Once the door was open she unbuckled the seat and picked it up, waddling over and ordering Allison to open the door of her Prius, ordering her. Allison hands her the keys and gives a very bored looking Lydia all of her numbers in case of emergencies, along with $50 just in case.

"I'll be home by 9, we can settle your things in then." Allison calls to a retreating back. She watches Lydia get in her car and speed off without so much as a goodbye, going over the entire meeting to see if she did anything particularly offensive that would make this girl hate her. She gets back in her car abandoning her original quest for food and heads back to work.

While she thought her day would consist of drooling over Erica and shooting spitballs at a lovesick Liam, it was very obvious the universe had other plans. She ends up getting home at 1:30am due to the new pack that thought they could get away with not asking San Francisco's Alpha permission to visit his territory. Bloody and unnecessary, She groans lightly resting her head on her steering wheel momentarily before forcing herself out the car. She drags her feet through the building, falls asleep momentarily in the elevator, and by the time she reaches the door, she's pretty convinced that sleeping on the couch is a good idea. She walks in to her couch-bed pulled out and Zayden bundled up tightly and laid in the center of of it. Lydia is sitting on the floor, her bags creating a mini barricade between her and the bed and her long red hair tied up. She has a book in her lap and Allison notes the lack of makeup on her face makes her look prettier. Allison closes the door and she hops to her feet and slides a brow up in question, most likely at Allison's torn and bloody dress.

"Out of town pack drama." She groans, locking the door and kicking off her heels with a quiet sigh and waddling over to the kitchen. Which was cleaner than it was when she left.

"Sounds awful, which room should I take?" The girl sounds like she's never been more bored in her life and Allison grits her teeth and grips at the counter.

"Are you this rude to all high paying customers?" She growls, finally meeting Lydia's eyes and taking note of how green they are.

"I'm a babysitter, not a sex worker. I don't have to be nice to you to do my job. Usually when a customer pays this much for a babysitter I tend to be a little rude, neglecting your child doesn't exactly get you top 8 on my MySpace page." Allison almost regrets saying anything when she takes in how red Lydia's gotten, observes the tiny hands clenching into fists at her side.

"Well. He's not my child, I'm doing my older sister a favor while she's getting to know her mate and wanted to make sure her child was in good hands. Since I work about 6 days a week and I'm always being called in at odd hours." Allison shrugs and Lydia twists up her face, letting her hair out of its ponytail and crossing her arms protectively over her chest. She watches a blush spread across her face and takes satisfaction in her discomfort,

"Ms. Argent, please just lead me to my designated room. I'd like to get to bed." The lighting in the room casts shadows onto her face, making her look younger and extremely tired. Allison snorts and grabs the three suitcases leaned against the couch, beckoning Lydia with her head to follow and struggling down the long hallway.

"It hasn't been used in months, I'll get you sheets and shit like that if you want new ones. En suite bathroom and a balcony, if you smoke I prefer you do it out there obviously. Uh," she drops Lydia's bags by the balcony and turns on her heel. "I'm right across the hall if you need me, you're welcome to anything in the fridge. Have a good night." Lydia nods and walks toward the balcony, stepping out and sliding it shut. Allison stands there momentarily watching Lydia's hair dance in the wind before walking out without looking back. When she gets into the comfort of her own room she finds herself leaning against the door when it finally slams shut.

Allison doesn't know what she's looking at or why she feels so lonely when Lydia is directly across from her in the next room. She stumbles to her bathroom and scrubs at her hands, monotonously going through her regular bedtime routine without really turning on the lights. She's hit her hip three times on her nightstand already but she's terrified that if she turns on the light, something might happen. So she showers in the dark, probably using conditioner to soap herself and sets her alarm early for the morning.

"I'm happy." She mumbles before forcing her eyes shut.

It's days like this when Allison regrets leaving home. She can imagine the sun rising over the trees and Derek's light scoff when he catches her sneaking out. She narrowly avoids running into a man crossing the street and doesn't find it in herself to apologize, too busy missing home to care. She hears the crunch of the leaves and twigs snapping under her instead of her feet scraping against the concrete. She can imagine Stiles catching up to her once the sun has risen fully and racing her to the school, can imagine them calling Derek to pick them up because once again they've pushed themselves too far. 'You were raised with werewolves, you aren't one.' He'd grumble, carrying one of them to the car and trying to repress an adoring smile. Can imagine pack practice in the leaves, the woods coming alive around them. Cora and Derek trying to charge at her and Stiles and falling flat on their backs while her and Stiles laugh off to the side. The stupid kiss to the forehead before Derek left the house, promises of returning with cake pops following him out the door. The lingering smell of burning wood even after the manor was rebuilt but the smell of Derek's pancakes wiping away all feelings of sadness in her gut.

She misses all of it.

She runs around her block one more time, pushing herself harder and idly wondering if Lydia is up yet.

She bumps into the building busybody, Mrs. Ruth in the elevator and suppresses a groan. She can tell by the arch of her brow that she saw Lydia coming in a couple days ago and didn't approve.

"New girlfriend, ms. Ally?" She asks knowingly.

"No ma'am, just a friend." She answers, wishing she brought her phone out with her.

"Well, she don't look like good news. She got an air about her, like she's too perfect to drink Poland Spring with the rest of us. Also, she's got a baby Allison. I keep telling you, wait for your mate, you won't regret it. What you do regret is getting caught up with these girls." She touches Allison's arm before stepping off the elevator and Allison rolls her eyes, leaning against the wall and childishly mimicking her.

Allison smells the bacon before she steps off the elevator, gravitating to her door and being greeted by Zayden throwing a grape at her.

"We're giving two year olds a head start on clogged arteries?" She calls, scooping Zayden from the floor and kissing his forehead. Lydia comes out the kitchen with pancake mix on her face and her red hair piled on top of her head.

She's only been here for four days and they've already fallen into a cycle. Allison runs at the crack of dawn, Lydia wakes up an hour later and cooks and they spend the time until Allison leaves for work teasing each other and cleaning.

"I gave him grapes. Also you've been running for almost three hours, if you're not hungry you're not human." Allison snorts and looks over at the clock, realizing that Lydia smells like strawberries and it's 6:50am. Last night was unexpectedly rough, left Allison partially awake and aching all night.

"Rosie, up!" Zayden yells, pulling at Allison's sweats. She crouches down, kissing his nose before picking him up.

"Rosie?" Lydia asks, knitting her brows together.

"Family nickname, I used to eat roses when I was a kid." She blushes and Lydia chuckles, going back in the kitchen.

"Jeez, What'd they do to you?"

"Shut up." Lydia sticks out her tongue before she drops four plates onto the table and looks around annoyed, bringing back Mrs. Ruth's one sided conversation in the elevator.

"What's up?" Allison asks, sitting down and making sure Zayden is comfortable in her lap before breaking up a pancake.

"Still annoyed over the lack of a high chair." She squeaks, sliding into the seat in front of Allison and tucking her feet under her.

"I mean if you want we can go up to Beacon Hills and get it."

"You're from Beacon Hills?"

"Born and raised." Allison says, her voice muffled by the bacon still in her mouth. She's iffy about other people's pancakes and isn't too eager to eat the golden ones in front of her, if they're not Derek's she doesn't trust them.

"Manners. Learn 'em, 'member 'em, use 'em." Lydia recites, picking up a syrupy piece of pancake and letting the syrup drop onto her lip. She sucks her lip into her mouth to clean it off and Allison watches with great interest.

"Do you tell all your five year olds that?"

"Just the rude ones. I'm from Beacon Hills, too." Allison breaks off a piece of her pancake and feeds it to Zayden who bites her finger and giggles. She's watching Lydia, trying to place her face when she speaks up.

"Moved after that rogue alpha bit me."

"Peter? You're a werewolf?" Zayden grabs at the bacon in her hand and she continues her stilted hand to his mouth.

"Banshee, actually." Lydia pops a piece of bacon in her mouth and Allison's jaw drops.

"Holy shit. Holy shit. I have to tell Derek and Stiles, holy crap this is so... Holy shit." She's rising from her seat, against Zayden's protests.

"What the hell is a Stiles and why do you have to tell them anything?" Lydia snaps and Allison sits back down, widening her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I just got excited. the rogue alpha, Peter, he's my uncle. A Stiles is my brother and I won't tell them anything if it bothers you." She bites into her pancake for something to do and groans freakishly loud,

"Oh my god, this is so good. Lydia, wow." Her eyes fall close as she takes another bite and Lydia clears her throat,

"You sure know how to make a girl feel special, Ms. Argent." She sounds choked and Allison hums, listening to Lydia clear the table and apologizing to Derek for her betrayal. But they're just too good, he of all people should understand. She takes about five more and let's Lydia take Zayden from her lap, moaning constantly around her fork and feeling slightly embarrassed about how much Stiles she actually has in her.

"God that was amazing, it's like the best sex I've ever had. And I've had some great sex." She groans dropping her plate in the sink and starting on the dishes as she watches Lydia flit around the living room.

"You've got a real potty mouth," She tsks, organizing the random magazines on the coffee table and making Allison laugh.

"You should see me on a Friday night." She's grinning and sort of obsessed with watching Lydia hurriedly pick up the already clean living room.

"It is Friday night." Lydia mumbles and Allison freezes up before letting out a loud 'fuck' and running to her room leaving the water running and Lydia extremely confused in the living room. In all of this Lydia "live-in nanny" stuff, she forgot about her date with Erica. The date she had secretly wanted back when Erica had first joined their department two months ago, pushed aside by a ginger who made great pancakes and liked to clean already clean things and... Had a better fashion taste than Allison would ever have.

"Lydia, get the hell in here." She shouts out the door, kicking off her sneakers and pushing down her sweat pants .

"Wha- what?" Lydia asks, running to the door and almost losing her eyeballs when she sees Allison tugging her shirt over her head.

"I have a date at 6 or 7, I have no idea what the hell to wear. Please PLEASE HELP!" Allison's taking out the braids she put in before the run and whimpering in her bra and panties, not even thinking about how awkward Lydia must feel. Lydia squints quickly before clapping her hands together and pushing Allison towards the bathroom.

"Get your pale ass in the shower, wash your hair and make sure you shave." She gives Allison a final shove and Allison turns in the doorway to face her, grabbing her towel and lowering her eyes.

"You like my pale ass."

"You wish, Edward." Lydia snorts, pushing Allison into the bathroom and shutting the door.

"Okay, so green or black?" Lydia asks, holding Zayden in one arm and applying lipstick onto Allison's mouth with the other.

"What looks better on me?" Allison opens one eye to look at Lydia's pensive face.

"They both look good, so let's go by how you're feeling. Slutty or slightly less slutty."

"You know what they say." Allison mumbles, giggling when Lydia lets out a questioning hm. "If you gonna show out, hoe out."

"Who says this?" Lydia asks between laughs.

"I do." Allison laughs,

"Well if that's the case, the green one." She sits on Allison's bed and watches her shimmy into the tight dress.

"You likin' the view perv?" She asks adding a little extra shimmy even though the dress is already on.

"No I'm just wondering why you didn't just unzip it instead of going through all that trouble." Allison blushes bright red and Lydia slides off the bed, cradling a sleeping Zayden and looking worn out herself. "I'm gonna go nap, enjoy your date."

"Thank you for helping me." She calls out to Lydia's retreating back. She feels disappointed when the door closes but ignores it and grabs her purse up, giving herself a pep talk that's mainly the word hoe and a couple other things. She rushes out the door, leaving $50 for Lydia to order food on the table. While waiting for the elevator, her lipstick breaks, she drops and cracks her favorite bronzer and her phone dies in her hand.

"I'm jinxed."

She doesn't really believe it until the elevator doors open and Mrs. Ruth is standing there with her clan of nosy old ladies. She almost waits for the next elevator but remembers that it's already 6:45 and she's supposed to meet Erica at 7.

"Allison, you look beautiful!" Abbey, a short slim woman who looks like she could be Audrey Hepburn's sister, cries out touching her arm.

"Thank you very much." Allison says wholeheartedly, she's always liked Abbey. Mainly because she minds her own business and carries herself like a regal princess. Allison can only wish to be that graceful in her 80's.

"You do, going on a date I presume? Things didn't work out with that snobby red head." Mrs. Ruth asks and the other women on the elevator murmur in agreement as if they know Lydia and have the right to judge on whether or not she was snobby. She was, but it's what made Allison like her more. She loves brats.

"There's nothing going on with me and Lydia. She's just a friend." Mrs. Ruth looks over to Mrs. Lois, a pudgy, short woman with beady eyes and gray hair, with eyebrows raised in skepticism.

"So her and her baby are mooching off you?" Mrs. Lois asks and Allison can't believe either of their mates can still put up with them, she grits her teeth and gives them the kindest smile she can manage in an attempt to end the conversation. Abbey squints at Mrs. Lois and throws her shoulders back like she's about to get into a street fight or be crowned as queen of England.

"It isn't any of your business, Claire. Leave the girl alone, she's nervous enough. She doesn't need your ugly nose in her business." The two women stare at each other and Allison is suddenly terrified of this tiny, regal woman. The elevator pings and Allison feels as if she can breathe again when the ladies start to file out. She heads towards the garage, only to be stopped by a hand on her arm. "Come see me after your date, beautiful." Abbey whispers before gliding back towards her group.

Erica's waiting outside the precinct in a midnight black dress that's hugging every curve on her body and Allison inwardly groans, it should be against the law to look this good on a first date.

"You look like someone killed your cat." She jokes, sliding into the passenger seat and tossing her blonde curls over her shoulder. Allison leans over to kiss her cheek and whines,

"You look like the person who killed them." Erica looks over at her with her honey eyes swimming and Allison feels...

Nothing.

"You look gorgeous by the way." She mumbles pulling out of her spot and pressing her foot a bit too hard on the gas.

"You look good too, this is a pretty color on you." Erica lightly touches her arm, trailing her fingers to Allison's dress and humming appreciatively. It makes Allison feel eerie and she almost misses the exit, swerving through traffic and almost colliding with a Mini Cooper.

"You're a hot date, but I'm still a cop." Erica laughs, her curls bouncing when she turns back to look at the wreck. Usually Allison would be laughing so hard she'd have to pull over till she calmed down. Instead she was shaking, gripping and releasing the wheel. She was all nerves and couldn't help letting out a low sigh. Which of course was a mistake, nothing you do in front of a werewolf was missed.

"You ok?"

No. "Yeah, I'm just really nervous, honestly."

"I make you nervous?" Erica's grin widens and Allison feels like she's being hunted, prefers being hunted than being courted.

"No, only pretty girls do." She jokes and Erica bares her teeth, leaning over as far as the seatbelt will let her and huffing in Allison's ear.

"We'll see about that." She growls and Allison bites her lip, turning into the parking lot and unbuckling her seatbelt. She's thankful for her tinted windows when she climbs into Erica's lap.

The date was amazing, better than it seemed to be going on the ride over and it left Allison tingling and smiling all night. She had called Lydia before she dropped Erica off, it had almost ended in a screaming match had Erica not grabbed the phone out of her hand and hung it up. Allison didn't have a lot of time to brood over it because Erica was on her the instant she put the phone down.

They were kicked out of the restaurant and Erica made reservations for next Tuesday so they could piss off their waiter some more. "It's just the right thing to do." She said giggling into the phone.

Allison really liked this girl already, surprisingly enough.

She smiles all the way to the elevator, presses the button to her floor and leans against the wall behind her. Closing her eyes and sighing like a teenage girl on her first date because yeah, it was that good. Her and Erica liked the same tv shows and Erica loved Marvel but had a serious hard-on for Harley Quinn, she thought that her and Liam were dating when they first transferred her to their department and pronounced pasta 'spasta', which annoyed the hell out of their waiter but made Allison blush with adoration. She held Allison's hand throughout the whole movie and smiled at her every time Allison gave a random fact about the movie, Erica was just..

This was not her floor.

How she ended up on the 23rd floor without noticing, she doesn't know. She has her key out and is just staring down the dimly lit hallway, dazed, confused and a little nervous. She huffs out a sigh at the same time the door in front of her opens, Abbey standing in there in a long red dress. It seems very cliche but she's surrounded by smoke and smiling at Allison like she never thought she'd see her again.

"Ms. Abbey, I'm sorry. I have no idea how I even got up here."

"I told you to come see me, sweetie. Come in." She turns in and glides to the back, Allison following her sluggishly. The inside of the apartment spoke levels for Abbey's personality, more than she did herself. The pale green walls and gigantic chandelier placed over the gigantic polished wood table. The balcony door was open and was apparently where Abbey was heading, trailing smoke behind her. The balcony was huge and the view of downtown from up here almost brought Allison to tears, it was so gorgeous. There was a patio set to her left, a tall woman with the same elegance as Abbey but younger sat in the chair closest to her.

"Allison, this is my wife Isabelle." Abbey says, kissing the tall woman's hair and sitting next to her. She points at a seat and Allison jumps to take it, exchanging greetings with Isabelle who was beautiful up close. The freckles and green eyes sticking out boldly against her dark skin and her slightly curled hair pulled in a tight bun that made her look more serious than her playful eyes could handle.

"How was the date?" Isabelle asks, her deep voice comforting Allison.

"Really fun, I had a lot of fun with her. I just felt empty." Allison widens her eyes at Isabelle, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that." Isabelle laughs and Allison can't help but grin at her.

"It's okay, I wanted the truth. How's living with Lydia going? I know you've been alone for a while." Allison blushes, smiling secretly and staring at her hands.

"It's been easy, like breathing. We're complete opposites but I like living with her, even though I'm kind of pissed at her right now."

"Why?"

"She started yelling at me, I forgot about what but I just got pissed."

"Do you have your mate mark?" Allison nods and Abbey squeals, like Allison told her a huge secret.

"What is it?" Abbey asks, grabbing Allison's hand and smiling.

"A empty book, sometimes it feels like there's someone writing in it but I never see it." She rubs at it again and frowns, why is she being so open?

"What's wrong?" Isabelle leans closer to her and takes a sip of tea, holding the cup to her mouth before passing it to Allison and beckoning her to take a sip. She picks it up in a trance like state and it finally clicks to her.

"Are you guys witches?" Allison mumbles after taking a sip.

"Yes." Abbey says and Allison just smiles, nodding her head and drinking more tea.

"You want to know when you're going to meet your mate? Am I right?" Isabelle inquires, tucking a strand of hair behind Allison's ear. She takes the cup out of her hand and Allison shivers, nodding her head slowly.

"She isn't terrified, I don't know if I like her or if I should kick her out." Abbey laughs, getting up and walking into the house. Allison watches after her, frowning slightly because she isn't sure if she should be offended or smile.

"She doesn't have many accepting sane friends, sorry."

"It's alright, I live with a banshee and my brother is a Mage." Allison laughs, biting her lip nervously.

"Ah so you're used to crazy." Allison nods, watching Isabelle shake her head fondly. She feels a low burning in her gut and smiles, she wants their type of love. The warm way Isabelle watches Abbey float back onto the balcony with a tray of martinis, the way Abbey smiles when Isabelle kisses her hand. She knows they're mates, they should be in love like that. But sometimes mates don't work out, and that's totally okay but she wants it to work out like they did. She can imagine her and Lydia sitting on a balcony in their 80's, sipping martinis and smiling at each other like there's not a single thing in the world they'd rather be doing. Her and Lydia, kissing and....

Lydia?

Why the hell is she thinking about her babysitter?

"Allison?" Abbey calls quietly, pushing Allison's hair back and Allison silently wonders if that's just a thing they're gonna do now.

"Sorry, you were saying?" She takes a huge sip of her martini and watches Isabelle's face go through four different ranges of amusement.

"You'll know your mate in 25 days." Isabelle stated, still quietly amused.

"I'm gonna meet them in twenty five days? Holy shit." She runs her hand through her hair and Abbey clicks in the back of her throat.

"I never said you were going to meet them. Just that you'll know them." Allison rolls her eyes and sips more of her martini.

"Everybody's a cryptic." She mumbles, scratching her mark. Abbey spits out her drink and Isabelle shakes her head, laughing quietly.

Allison stays for a couple more martini's. Five more to be exact before she stumbles her way to the apartment, where strawberry curls and pearly whites await her. She's been trying to get in the house for ten minutes now but the lock doesn't seem to wanna stay still.

"I'm telling Lydia, she'll get you, you silly lock." She tries the key one more time before sagging on the door and letting out a high pitched whine. She's gonna die out here in this hallway, where the rug is too clean, the lights too bright and the locks move a lot.

"Allison?" She hears Lydia call but doesn't see her, can't see those pretty warm eyes.

"Oh man, how'd I die?" She mumbles, shaking her head. She hears Lydia laugh and thinks of how cruel it must be to live without her.

"You're drunk," Lydia's suddenly squatting in front of her, long hair hanging over her shoulders. The smirk on her face fills Allison with want and it'd be so easy to kiss her right now, just smash her lips onto Lydia's perfect ones.

"Umnotdrunk." Allison responds, keeping her eyes trained on Lydia's full mouth, watching every movement like it was crucial to her existence. Lydia bites her lip and Allison almost loses it right there, sliding her back against the door so she's standing and not eye level with the most perfect mouth in the world. She notices the take out bags on Zayden's carriage and let's out a laugh. "You got Chinese Lydie?" Lydia raises an eyebrow before letting out a loud laugh, she pushes Allison aside to open the door before she answers.

"Yes and I can't believe you called me Lydie. Unbelievable, Argent." She pokes Allison's forehead before pulling the carriage and Allison in. She pushes Allison towards her room with a dazzling smile and a simple 'clean up' and Allison wonders what life was like before she was whipped by Lydia.

She's out ten minutes later, sobered up slightly by the cold water she accidentally splashed on her face. Lydia has the pullout bed out and several cartons on the coffee table. She's already stuffing her face with mooshoo pork, looking more satisfied than Allison ever thought she'd look.

"It's all yours, whatever you don't eat we'll eat tomorrow. Pick a movie, I don't know what to watch " Lydia says between large bites, waving her chopsticks at Allison and grinning when she finally sits down next to her. They end up partially watching an awful movie about lesbian vampires, partially trying to teach Allison how to properly use chopsticks.

"This is why forks exist, Lyds. Forks and spoons! They never fail me." Lydia laughs, using her hands to fix Allison's pout. She falls asleep ten minutes after, her head dropping onto Allison's shoulder. Her strawberry blonde hair falling onto Allison's chest, filling Allison's nose with peppermint and lilac and everything that Allison associates with Lydia. She wants to run her hands through Lydia's hair and plant a kiss on her forehead, carry Lydia to bed and curl up right on her back. She knows she should send Lydia to bed, turn the movie off and go text the person she actually went on a date with but she can't bring herself to wake her up. She ends up spending the rest of the movie watching Lydia sleep on her shoulder, lightly rubbing her back and subconsciously counting her heartbeats. It hurts, but she doesn't regret it.

When the movie ends, Allison climbs into bed with Zayden when Lydia goes off to her room . She just can't handle sleeping alone tonight.

Two days later, Allison finds herself running back around her block for the fifth time that morning. She dreamt of the fire last night, dreamt of the melted, crooked, burnt-out shell her mother's home had become. The smell of burning skin fills her nostrils and she just can't breathe, ends up collapsing on the ground. Her skinned knees bring her back, the pain annoyingly getting worse. She's behind her building, a cry for her father falling silent on her lips. The stares in the lobby confirm how messed up she must look and when she sees her reflection in the mirror she cringes. Her eyes look tired and red rimmed, sunk into her face like she hasn't slept in years. She drags herself to her door and finds herself waiting outside so she doesn't worry Lydia. She waits five minutes before walking in... To Lydia dancing around the living room with Zayden jumping behind her looking ecstatic. The TV is blasting David Bowie and Lydia pulls Allison right in, twirling under her arm and jumping away.

"You're the babe!" Lydia shouts and Zayden runs over to hug Allison's leg,

"The babe with power!" He shouts missing a few crucial syllables and Allison laughs, watching them both parade around in their pajamas. Lydia pulls her in again, dragging her around the couch in circles and twirls while Zayden jumps in and out between them.

"So this is what it's like being a David Bowie fan?" Allison asks twenty minutes later, sprawled out on the couch. They stopped dancing when Zayden threw himself to the ground and covered his face, whining about not wanting to be a babe. Lydia's in the kitchen making stir fry and comes out to glare at Allison, pot in hand.

"Are you saying you aren't a Bowie fan?" She squints at Allison, still mixing the noodles.

"Not until this morning." Lydia scoffs and goes back into the kitchen, muttering about Allison being an idiot. Allison goes into the kitchen and sits on the kitchen counter, watching Lydia angrily cut the chicken up.

"What'd he do to you?" She asks and Lydia laughs, throwing the chicken in the pan.

"I like to cut with precision. What the hell do you listen to?" Lydia moves to stand next to Allison, green eyes boring into her like she knows every secret Allison's ever kept.

"I don't know. I listen to anything that sounds good. My dad, he uh, really liked rock and really liked The Red Hot Chili Peppers. He got me and my older sister really into rock music. We were gonna start a band, me, Laura and Stiles but... Things happen." Lydia smiles at her, shaking her head before she walks away.

"Now it's time to get you into some Bowie."

 

"I want to cut my hair. But I'm scared." Lydia mumbles Tuesday afternoon, straightening Allison's layers for her next date with Erica.

"Do it, you'd look hot in layers." Allison responds, painting her toes at an odd angle. Lydia goes silent for so long, Allison wonders if she's finally crossed a line with her.

"You think so?" Lydia squeaks, brushing Allison's shoulder lightly.

"Yeah." Is the reply she gives, sucking in her lip and trying to hard not to think of Lydia kissing her in the same spot she just touched. She gets off the bed and Lydia's staring at a lock of her long hair intently, like she's using quantum physics to figure out if she'd really look good with layers.

"You'd look cute, go do it now actually." Lydia raises a brow and Allison smiles at her, nodding her head like she's envisioning the cut now. "I'll leave you the money and I'll give you the address of my salon." Lydia squints harder the longer Allison talks and has her eyes closed by the time her sentence is finished.

"I don't need your money, Allison." Lydia replies, sighing as she climbs off the bed. Allison watches after her, hates how guilty she feels.

Laura always told her that she couldn't buy everything she wanted.

Allison was feeling good about tonight, really good. Until Erica bangs her head on the dashboard, knocking her out cold. Turns out Erica just wanted information on Derek and Allison was just the easiest way to get to him. It was luck that found her three hours later, when she finally got out of the ropes tying her to a pole in the basement. She thanks whoever is up there that Erica left her purse when she went wherever she went. Allison grabs it, forgetting her shoes as she runs out the front door, across the yard of a tiny house that wasn't Erica's.

She's bleeding from a cut on her chest and another one on her leg, feeling slightly woozy from the blows to her head. She knows the area, is glad that Erica wasn't smart enough to go too far, arrogantly thought that Allison wouldn't make it out. This works out perfectly for Allison who makes her way to the Mall parking lot where she left her car, breaking into a sprint when she sees the sign for the entrance. She throws herself in the car, starting it and pulling off so fast she almost loses control. She was a mess, mascara and dirt streaking down her face and her hands shaking so hard she has to pull over three times. The last time she jerks to the edge of the road, leaves her a sobbing mess in the driver's seat and she takes her time trying to talk herself down. She was stronger than this, she was so much stronger than this. She drags her hand across her mouth being careful not to irritate the ligature marks and straightens up in her seat, staring out at the passing traffic. It feels better not to think, not to think about how lucky she was to have gotten out before Erica got back.

"Allison? Allison, hello?" Lydia's voice filters through the car, sounding carefree and sleepy. Allison wishes she could be there, wrapped in Lydia's arms. Listening to her hum a song from some obscure band that she refuses to tell Allison about,

"Oh god, Lydia." She groans, leaning onto the steering wheel and letting out a loud wail.

"Allison?" She's more frantic now and Allison regrets bothering her. "Where are you?"

"Lydia, she... Oh my god, Lydia I'm sorry."

"It's ok, it's fine. Where are you?" Her voice is soft, calling Allison into action.

"I'm at.." She turns to look out the window, laughing incredulously and probably scaring Lydia even more. "I'm right outside the Diner where I met you." She hears movement in the background and Lydia muttering away from the phone,

"I'll be there in ten minutes, five if the elevator is literally right there. Do you need me to stay on the phone?"

Yes. "If you want to, you don't have to." Allison feels needy, she wants to climb in Lydia's lap and inhale her whole. She wants to be held and babied, she just wants to be cared for.

"Allison, I'm hungry." Lydia whines and it makes her laugh, she goes to answer but Lydia cuts her off. Talking about some indie band and it puts Allison at ease, makes her lean back against her seat and lose herself in the soft hum of Lydia's rambling.

When Lydia pulls up, Allison feels worse for waking her up. She's in a shirt that looks four sizes too big and a pair of shorts that barely peek out from under the shirt, she looks like she just got out of bed. Zayden's in the back seat, kicking the chair and.. Lydia's hair is shorter, right below her shoulders and in layers. She doesn't know why she finds it so intriguing, especially now. She slips out the front seat and Lydia widens her eyes, slowing down to take Allison in. Allison tries to stand still, letting Lydia rake her eyes over and process it all. It's when Lydia grabs her shirt to pull her in and tucks Allison's head into her neck that it all comes crashing down again, knocking the wind right out of her and leaving her a sobbing mess in the middle of a parking lot.

Lydia held her the whole time.

"Alright I can't take this anymore." Lydia screeches at breakfast four days later, scaring Zayden out of his food trance. Allison looks up from her paper and raises her brows in question, bad habit she's picked up from Derek, who'd rather speak for hours in facial expressions than have a 5 minute conversation.

"He needs a high chair, Allison. This isn't right." She tucks loose strands of hair behind her ear and Allison smiles softly, admiring the new choppy length of Lydia's hair for the fifth time this morning.

"Let's go get it, then." It's a statement but it comes out as a question and it makes Allison wince, hates how fragile she sounds. Lydia nods, hopping out of her chair and running into the kitchen to rummage through cabinets. Allison pulls Zayden from the oatmeal he's attempting to swim in and puts him in his car seat, kissing his face repeatedly so he doesn't get fussy.

"It's four hours to Beacon Hills from here right?" Lydia calls from the kitchen, dropping what sounds like a pot on the ground and squealing. The water turns on a second later and Allison risks going in there to answer her,

"It takes five." Allison watches Lydia scrub at the pot like her life depended on it, pieces of hair falling in her face. The scene feels oddly domestic and Allison has the strong urge to kiss Lydia's shoulder, doesn't realize she's moving till she touches her.

"We ok?" Lydia whispers, turning off the water to turn and stare up at Allison. Her head is tilted at the perfect angle and if Allison was brave enough, she'd push her lips against Lydia's. Would she even kiss back?

"Allison?" The hand on her shoulder brings her back and the warm green eyes, filled with worry, ground her.

"Do you mind spending a few days out there?" Allison needs to be around her family and her pack, is craving for some normalcy, is hoping some time out there will get her off of Lydia and if Lydia doesn't want to accompany her she has no problem just...

"Sure, I'll pack my bag."

Apparently a bag to Lydia means an overstuffed suitcase and a book bag. Which leaves Allison lugging four bags out of the lobby while Lydia carries Zayden, looking cool as ever in a red romper and cat eye sunglasses. Her cherry red lips keep distracting Allison, slowly driving her crazy.

"If you need help with the bags sweetie, I can help." She offers, pulling her glasses down her nose. She was probably the poster child for spoiled rich kids and Allison rolls her eyes, this brat looks like she wouldn't even lift a hand to swat a fly.

"No, I got it sweetie. Wouldn't want you to break a nail." Lydia fake laughs, slipping Allison the finger. Allison grins at her, stopping momentarily to toss her the keys and admiring Lydia's perfect reflexes. This girl really has everything, Allison might just be in love. Allison starts moving again when she sees Mrs. Ruth walking her way, nose high in the air.

"Hello, Allison!" She calls, moving faster to catch up to her. Lydia stops a few paces ahead to look towards Ruth then Allison, who's desperately looking at her for help.

"Hi Mrs. Ruth." Allison says through tight lips, praying that Lydia gets impatient enough to pull her away. Mrs. Ruth touches her arm, throwing a look at Lydia before settling back on her. Allison sees Lydia's eyebrows shoot up from the corner of her eye and bites her lip to keep herself from laughing.

"Honey, how are you? You look exhausted." She rubs Allison's arm, still throwing wary looks towards an agitated Lydia.

"I'm fine, just a little tired." The faint smile she gives her makes Lydia scoff and click her heel on the pavement.

"Oh dear, you look it. You shouldn't be tugging all these bags, you work all day."

"If I don't do it, who else will?" Lydia scoffs and walks over, snatching a suitcase and giving Mrs. Ruth  **the**  look before going to stand where she was before. Mrs. Ruth looks appalled, as if Lydia called her mother a whore and Allison has to get out of there before she explodes from holding in her laughter.

"Hm. Well, I'll let you be on your way. Remember what I told you, Allison." She walks away, still throwing little looks over at Lydia. When she's far enough, Allison let's out a loud laugh that echoes around the garage. Lydia walks faster towards the car, the clicks of her heels speaking for her attitude. She doesn't bother trying to talk until she gets to the car,

"Lydia? She's an old lady, come on." Allison's still laughing, can't help it especially with the look Lydia gives her when she finally has Zayden buckled in the back seat.

"What did she tell you? What do you have to remember?" She slides into the passenger seat, sunglasses and cell phone in her hand and a book on the dashboard. Allison laughs louder, pulling Lydia's glasses out of her hand and putting them on. She drives in silence, letting Lydia stew in her anger for a few minutes while she blasts the radio. Lydia watches her the whole time, biting her lip and tapping her nail on the dashboard.

"Was I just talking to the fucking air, Ms. Argent?" Allison glances over at her and bursts out laughing, lowering the radio and looking at her fully over the glasses.

"She basically said that you're a spoiled brat." Lydia rolls her eyes and sits back, continues reading a torn and withered book as if she could care less.

"Uncreative, it's not like you didn't already know." Allison snorts and spares another look over at Lydia. The wind is tossing her hair around delicately, the sun is beaming on her face and she looks relaxed, like she's waiting for Allison to kiss her.

But again she doesn't. Just keeps on driving so they make it there before Stiles' shift ends.

"That book looks like it's been through hell, what book is that?" Lydia giggles and closes the book, staring at the side of Allison's face and making her self conscious.

"Promise not to laugh?" She sounds like she's about to laugh herself but Allison just nods her head, turning the radio down once again.

"Why would I?"

"It's a children's novel." Allison glances over at her, noticing how shy and withdrawn Lydia looks. How tightly the book is clutched to her chest, like she's afraid Allison will pry it away from her.

"I won't laugh, I promise." Lydia inhales, letting it all out steadily.

"It's The Giver. It was my dad's favorite book, he used to read it to me every summer. The last time I saw him, we had finished chapter 7 and I told him I didn't want to read it anymore. He died that night, brain aneurysm." Allison nods, not saying sorry because she knows how useless it is. Sorry doesn't bring them back, just validates that they're no longer here.

"Can I read it sometime?" Allison puts her hand on Lydia's leg and feels like she belongs there, like she should be holding Lydia like this 24/7.

"Sure." Lydia's smiling now, hand on top of Allison's.

They pull into the preserve by 4:47, Lydia and Zayden are knocked out and Allison is listening to the same Sia song for the fifth time since they left. The woods are the same, she doesn't know why she thought they would change, it's not like her absence was something significant. The only thing that’s different is how much smoother it is to drive up the path to the house, probably because she isn't doing it in a beat up jeep anymore. Allison's antsy, can't wait to let the trees and the grass completely surround her, can't wait for the familiar smell of Derek's aftershave and Stiles' shampoo to relax every bone in her body. Lydia wakes up when they're two minutes away, rubbing at her eyes and quietly yawning.

"So you are trying to kill me?" She mumbles, observing the heavily wooded area Allison was still twisting through. Allison grins, still staring straight ahead because this path was no joke, one look away would have them flipped over.

"It's the family house." Lydia hums and Allison's heart begins to soar when she starts to see the roof through the trees. She presses a little harder on the gas, fed up with tip toeing through the well memorized path.

"Excited?"

"A little, haven't been home in a while." She's finally pulling up to the driveway, tiny flutters wracking her body when she sees the camaro in front of the garage. The front door opens and she doesn't even realize she's out of the car until a twig hops up and cuts her on the calf, but she doesn't care. She's running across the lawn like a crazy person and she's almost at the steps when Derek gets with the program and runs up to meet her, wrapping her in his arms and picking her up like she's still 12. It's silly the way she missed him. It's silly that this hug, this normal 'Derek's going to the store.' hug has her sobbing like a child. He smells like laundry and Stiles' shampoo, mixed with his own after shave and the house. Her house, their house, The House. He's kissing her head, rubbing her back repeatedly as if that would stop all the bad things in the world from happening to her. For the moment it does and she just lets herself enjoy being in Derek's arms in the middle of her woods for a second.

They don't talk about it yet, the neediness of the hug, just a final kiss to the head before Derek goes back to being regular charming Derek and attempting to woo Lydia.

"A nanny? She's too beautiful to be anything but a queen, Allison." He looks at her with his shit eating grin and she rolls her eyes, switching Zayden onto her hip.

"It didn't work in ninth grade, it won't work now Derek." Allison laughs loudly, trying to smooth the frown lines etched into his face.

"Oh my god, you're that Lydia!" Allison shrieks, laughing even harder when Derek pushes her and walks away. It's kinda hard to take him seriously with the flower print bags he's clutching in his hand, "Oh he was in love with you, would come home and sing about you, make you mixtapes. I think he named a pillow after you."

"Fuck you, Allison."

"Lydia Martin, the prettiest girl in Beacon Hills, besides you of course. But that's only because you look most like me." She responds in a deeper voice, imitating Derek's walk in high school. Lydia's sitting on the steps, laughing so hard she has tears in her eyes. Allison joins her, jostling her shoulder before resting her head there. Zayden's playing in the leaves in front of her and she hears Derek going up the steps, a random bird swoops down onto the lawn and there's a breeze blowing Lydia's hair into her face.

"I can see why you love it here." Lydia whispers, inhaling deeply. Allison has no reason to still be leaning on her shoulder, but can't find a good enough reason in the world to move.

"Wait, till you see the movie room and the greenhouse." Allison mumbles and Lydia pulls away, eyes wide and searching.

"An actual greenhouse?"

"Yeah, my aunt May was a botanist. It was the only thing..." Allison cuts herself off and is extremely thankful when Derek pads out onto the porch and sits down next to her, ruffling her hair.

"You cut it again?" He asks and she nods, trying to brush it back to normal. "I like it. It's better than the rat tail."

"Oh my god, fuck off Derek!" She gets up and pulls Lydia with her, staring at him like an angsty teen. "I'm gonna show Lydia the house." Derek laughs, nodding his head and getting up to go smother Zayden in kisses. She leads the way into the house, keeping her eyes trained on Lydia's face. Feeling oddly relieved when Lydia lights up in awe.

"What are you showing me first... This house is huge." Lydia pulls away, wandering into the front room and squealing.

"So, you found the library." Allison laughs, walking in behind her and leaning on the door frame. Lydia's jumping from bookcase to bookcase, looking back every five seconds to squeak at Allison. She's never seen her so excited and it makes Allison really appreciate the impressive room.

"You grew up with all of these books? I would've never moved out or gone to school." Lydia drops to her knees, lightly touching each book on the bottom shelves and Allison wants to watch her read every single one.

"We had a much bigger collection but it all burned in the fire. My aunt bought these all from my grandfather's storage unit." Allison remembers that day, waking up at 5am and being dragged out to Pasadena to bring home twenty-five huge boxes of dusty books. Remembers Derek telling Aunt May about basketball championships and Laura french braiding her hair in a gas station in Sacramento. Stiles and Cora weren't talking that week so Aunt May made them ride in the back of the truck together, leaving Allison up front with the big Kids for once and it was exhilarating.

_"You'd like Lydia, Rosie." Derek tells her, popping his big chew obnoxiously._

_"Yeah, why would I?" Usually when Derek would start this, she'd ignore him and talk to Stiles about school or Laura about makeup but Laura's asleep and Stiles is indisposed._

_"She likes to read, she's got these warm green eyes that make you feel like she's about to break your neck but they also make you feel safe. And she hates me almost as much as you do." Aunt May snickers up front, looking back at the both of them quickly. She always told Allison that her and Derek were her favorite because they were just like her and Allison's mom used to be._

_"Maybe i would like her, I'm gonna steal her from you and we're gonna date forever and ever." Derek slaps her arm before putting his legs up on her._

She's startled out the memory by Lydia grabbing her hand, lightly tugging like she's desperate to be noticed.

"Sorry, was lost in my head." Lydia searches her for signs of lie before shrugging,

"It's okay, show me the movie room." Her smile is easy and her eyes are just like Derek described them years ago, safe and deadly.

After the tour, Allison piggy backs Lydia to the kitchen still laughing over her baby pictures.

"Wait, so if Derek's your brother how come your last name is Argent?" Lydia's looking over the books in the kitchen while Allison watches her, fascinated with the way every part of her body seems to be alive.

"My dad. The Hale women keep their name, but dad wanted someone to carry his name. That person was Stiles, I was the unexpected Argent." Allison's still staring at her, but she isn't seeing her anymore. She's seeing her dad, grinning at her for hitting a homerun in little League. Kissing her bruised knuckles every time she got into a fist fight at school, because he knew she wasn't fighting just to fight. He knew the unkind words they would throw at her about her family and never held Allison responsible for her angry little fists.

"I think I liked the rattail phase." Lydia says softly, swaying over to the table by the bay window. Derek bustles in the back door with Zayden on his shoulders and bags in his hand.

"Rattail over faux hawk any day." He laughs, setting the bags down. Allison grabs Zayden off his shoulders and gives them both the finger, hiding her smile in Zayden's curls. Stiles bursts through the door, mouth in a perfect o and Allison has all of five seconds to put Zayden down before she's tackled to the ground. She falls against the cabinet, Stiles' hand cushioning her fall and grabbing onto her hair. She hears Derek mutter something about a falling out to Lydia but is too busy listening to Stiles mumble heartfelt apologies. They stay on the floor like that until Derek toes at them, complaining about dinner. She stands up first, pulling him up and throwing her arm around his shoulder.

"Thing 1, meet Lydia. She's the only reason I haven't lost your pride and joy in the parking lot at Arby's." Coincidentally, Lydia's chasing after Zayden right now, yelling a hello over her shoulder.

"Is that  _the_  Lydia?" Stiles mutters, elbowing Allison. She nods her head and they both look at Derek before bursting out in laughter, letting Derek push them out the kitchen before they fall on his floor again.

"We still have to talk, but I need a good shower." He kisses her forehead and goes to where Lydia was before he emerges with Zayden on his back, running up the stairs like a mad man. Lydia steps into the living room, looking up after him and smiling faintly. She looks back at Allison, who no longer cares if she gets caught staring anymore and grins.

"Let's go get ice cream." She grabs her arm, tugging her towards the door and Allison laughs grabbing the keys from the table in the foyer.

"What about dinner?" Lydia stops, sliding her hand into Allison's and shrugging. She leads the way and Allison wonders how she's even walking in the dark, in the middle of the woods in those heels... in the dark.

"You're amazing." Allison mumbles, biting her lip.

When Allison wakes up the next morning, Lydia's in the kitchen, waiting for her so they can run together. It should be illegal to look so beautiful in baggy clothes and a lopsided bun, to look so happy to go on a run before the sun rises. Allison wants to kiss this girl, the one who so effortlessly manages to be beautiful and ruthless, kiss her so hard she goes weak in the knees. Instead she leads the way to a trail in her backyard and tells Lydia to watch for branches before taking off. She's surprised that Lydia keeps up so effortlessly, passing her twice on the way up. They run up to a cliff that overlooks the city and Allison throws herself against a tree, sliding down and groaning.

"You run at home? By the way, where is home?" Lydia leans against her legs, wincing slightly.

"Not the way you do, but yeah. I run with my roommate and we live in Downtown SanFran." She grins at Allison before turning her attention to the sky. "Why don't you live at home? It's gorgeous and it's obvious you love it here." She looks back at Allison, green eyes cracking her open silently.

"It was too big when I was here, too many memories. Then Peter killed Laura and I had to go, it hurt too much to stay here."

"So that's why Stiles hugged you like that? You haven't been home since you moved?" Lydia moves to sit next to her and they're pressed shoulder to shoulder, anchoring each other so they could let out all their demons.

"No, well yeah kinda. Cora came with me, moved out when she got pregnant. Last time I spoke to Stiles he told me I was weak and I broke his nose, that was when Zayden was born."

"Guess you're not so weak." Lydia jokes, jostling her shoulder. The joke is so unexpected that Allison has to turn to see if she's really sitting next to Lydia before laughing.

"You're awful." Allison snorts watching as Lydia hops off the ground, holding her hand out to pull Allison up.

"You love it." Lydia groans, walking down the slope to the trail.

"You're right." Allison calls back, she hears Lydia laugh up ahead and rushes to catch up.

When they get back to the house, Lydia's complaining about her cuticles and Derek's in the front yard fighting what looks like a practice dummy.

"Relax, Princess. We'll go later." Allison's admiring his form, always loved to watch her brother fight and for once was giving something besides Lydia her full attention.

"Don't call me that." Lydia whines, pushing Allison before sitting on the porch. Derek kicks the dummy one last time before coming over, kissing Allison on the head and waving at a slightly pouting Lydia.

"When'd you get a dummy, dummy?" He gives her a fake laugh, pinching her stomach.

"Well when you left, I needed to kick someones ass."

" _You_  kick  _my_  ass? Derek, please. Laura trained me." He raises a brow at her and steps into a defensive stance, gesturing her to bring it on. Allison stands up straight, trying to show off for Lydia by throwing a complicated kick but ends up flat on her back.

"Should've trained with Uncle Joe." He whispers, crouching over her. She wraps her legs around his neck and pulls him down onto the lawn, making sure he's completely down before running around the porch to the backyard. She hears Lydia yell before Derek comes around with her on his shoulders.

"Put her down, you might hurt the princess." Allison yells, toeing off her sneakers. Derek laughs, placing Lydia on the porch swing before running at Allison. She side-steps his tackle before knocking him on his back and running over to Lydia.

"I'm not a helpless princess, I've worked very hard to be rid of that title." Lydia grumbles, full on pouting.

"Don't be so upset, Princess. Comes with the... Stuck up territory." Allison grins at her before running back over towards Derek and launching herself onto his back, swinging herself around to the front and bringing him down again. "Jeez Al, been taking more classes?" He groans, picking leaves out of his head. She laughs and picks him up before kicking him back onto the ground, leg over his chest. She's up and running back over to Lydia, jogging in place when Lydia clears her throat.

"I'm not stuck up. I just carry myself a certain way."

"Yeah, a stuck up way." Allison breathes, dodging a punch before pushing Derek back into the middle of the yard. They spar hand on hand for a while before Allison knocks Derek's feet from under him, dancing away from a punch and a muttered 'cheat.' Her adrenaline is pumping and she feels as if she can run up Mt. Everest, no problem. Lydia's still sitting there with a pout and Allison wants to wipe it off her face,

"What?" Lydia snaps when she comes closer, throwing her arms up in question. Allison grins before bending down and kissing her, nothing rough and needy like she feels, but a soft delicate kiss before she runs back out to Derek.

Allison and Derek go inside 20 minutes later, Derek piggybacking her to her bathroom. She peels her sweaty clothes off, staring at her tan skin in the mirror and noting all of her imperfections, ignoring the scaring cut on her chest. Her muscles feel tight and she can't wait to get into the shower and let the hot water loosen her up. Her eyes finally make their way up to her face, where Lydia's lip balm is shimmering above her lip. She smiles a little, turning on the shower and getting in and going through her routine.

"Oh my god!" She screams in the shower, dropping the soap and almost falling flat on her ass.

She had kissed Lydia, she has Lydia's lip balm on her face, she knew what Lydia's mouth felt like. And... Lydia hadn't said anything.

This was bad.

This was worse than bad, this was awful. She didn't know if Lydia was in a relationship or if Lydia already knew her mate. She just took the kiss, it isn't even how she wanted to have their first kiss, if they were even supposed to kiss. She's stumbling out of the shower, throwing on whatever clothes are at the top of her bag and running down the stairs, her wet hair leaving a trail behind her.

"Lydia? Lydia!" Allison runs around to the back porch, running out into the grass to get a better view of the whole yard. She stands there staring at the ground before going around to the front and almost wants to cry when she sees Lydia and Derek sitting on the steps, looking like they haven't moved since she left. Derek looks over at her and is on his feet in seconds, catching her before she falls over. She's pushing past him though to get to Lydia, who's surprisingly barefoot. Her hair is loose now and Allison grabs onto her, apologizing profusely.

"Hey, Ally, Al." She's rubbing at her arms in an attempt to calm her but Allison keeps apologizing and Lydia just pulls her into her arms, gives up trying to talk her down. Instead she holds her, rubbing her back the same way Derek does, gives her the same comfort that Cora does and it hits Allison right here and now that Lydia's her soulmate. She pulls away to face her, eyes bulging before she hits the ground.

She wakes up with a pounding headache in her bedroom, the fleece blanket pulled up to her neck. Confirmation that Stiles was home and he was worried as shit. She wants to sit up but there's a weight on her chest and hair tickling her nose and she realizes that Lydia stayed with her. It's dark outside and she can hear Stiles talking to Zayden in the living room, whatever Derek's cooking in the kitchen smells like heaven and she's tempted to go sit by his feet and beg for samples. With her eyes adjusted to the dark, she sees how oddly Lydia is positioned over her and decides to wake her up to save her the crick in her neck.

"So, did I pass out?" She asks loudly, knowing Derek's heard her by the clatter in the kitchen. Lydia jumps back like she's been electrocuted and rubs at her eyes,

"Hey, are you okay? Need water? I brought you some water just in case." Lydia's fumbling on the nightstand for the glass and Allison grabs it before it ends up on the floor. She takes a huge sip, which seems to satisfy Lydia and her own dry mouth.

"Did I pass out or did you enchant me?" She questions again, turning on the tiny lamp and instantly regretting it.

"Ha. Ha. You passed out and I carried you to the couch. You know for someone who works out every morning, you are really heavy." Lydia smirks and Allison groans, flopping back on her pillow.

"It's all muscle, Princess." She freezes up, staring straight ahead at the glow in the dark stars on her ceiling. Lydia inhales deeply besides her, pushing herself off the bed with a sigh. She leans against the wall, staring at Allison while Allison is staring at the door.

"What's my mark?" Lydia whispers, eyes searching Allison.

"It's a book... oh my god," Allison laughs, sitting up and meeting Lydia's eyes. "What's mine?" Allison has so many questions, so many but she doesn't wanna upset Lydia too much.

Lydia just shakes her head, wrapping her arms around herself and finally looking away. She looks terrified, her warm green eyes are clouded with tears. It looks as if the softest noise would tear her apart for good and leave her a sobbing mess on the ground. So Allison stays quiet, watching Lydia silently fall apart. When the tears start to fall, she sits up to go comfort her but is quickly shot down by Lydia violently slamming herself against the closet, shaking her head.

"Allison, I have to go." It stuns her and she hears a glass break in the kitchen, followed by Stiles' less than silent 'What the fuck'. She's sure Lydia is trying to give her an excuse but her brain has chosen to pay attention to the sounds around her house. She feels like her father is training her again and she had to list every sound she heard before the clock runs out.

The washing machine starting it's third cycle. "I don't do well in relationships. I can't..." Zayden's Jack in the box just popped up and he's squealing in delight. "I don't believe in this whole soulmate thing, I don't think that some magical..." She hears a car coming up the gravel and wonders if Lydia asked Derek to do this when Allison woke up. "Allison, if we would've..." The car honks twice and Derek moves from his perch on the steps to climb upstairs, not even bothering to knock before he comes in and announces the cabs arrival.

"Allison, please say something." Lydia grabs her hand and she jolts out of her trance, snatching her hand back. Her training taught her to maintain her cool in stressful situations and she's good at handling things in a detached manner, so she has no idea why she feels so coiled and uneasy.

"I'll send the remaining balance to your agency." Her voice wavers and she looks over at Derek, who's staring at her like he's waiting for the word to throw Lydia out. He gives her a small smile, like an encouragement or a good luck note. "It was pleasant working with you, I hope you have a good night." Lydia tries to explain again but Derek's at the side of the bed now, grabbing her bags and bidding her safe travels. Allison lays back down, facing the wall still decorated with dolphin stickers and wants to find it in herself to cry but instead squeezes her eyes shut to force herself to fall asleep.

"I'm happy. "

 

It's different from when Scott left, hurts more. She feels physical pain without Lydia, finally broke down crying at breakfast three days ago. Stiles took that day off work and the three of them, Zayden included spent the day watching old movies in the basement turned movie room.

"Why are we watching the Notebook, Stiles?" Allison groans, lolling her head onto Derek's lap. Allison felt a dull ache in her chest, can't help but imagining her and Lydia in their place. Can't help but imagine Lydia being there right now, wrapped between Allison's bare legs, reciting every word because the brat was obsessed with the Notebook.

"What are you thinking about?" Derek asks, carding through her hair.

"It's her favorite movie, she's always wanted someone to build a house for her. Always wanted her 'Notebook' kiss." She's crying again, not even watching the screen anymore. Everything is too painful.

"Statistically, 15% of soul mates worldwide don't get together. Out of the 15%, 5.2% don't stay together because of personal wants." Stiles mumbles, moving to lay on Allison's lap. She laughs and it sounds like she's choking, tears rolling down her face like they belong there.

"The other 10.8%?"

"Dead, missing or living on different continents." Derek mutters, sipping some of Allison's wine. She looks up at him and wishes he could actually feel the alcohol, the way she can. If you're gonna be sad might as well be drunk.

"I wish Lydia was dead." She says ten minutes later, tears still streaming down her face. Derek looks at her and she can tell he's been crying too, stoic as ever but his eyes are bloodshot. He stares at her as if he's trying to figure out every thought running through her mind before she voiced them.

"Why?"

"Death is easier. With death, you mourn and miss them but you know they aren't going to come back and eventually you move on and you're living without them. But when they leave you, it's different. Cause you know, you know they're still there. That you can still see them and touch them, you know they're out there doing the things you miss about them. She's still out there listening to 3005 because she thinks it's the best song on the radio, she's still out there dancing to Bowie because he's her favorite musician. With death, the story ends and it hurts for a while but then you forget about it and you keep going on with your life. When somebody leaves you, the story is still going on but you're no longer a part of it and that's what hurts the most."

They didn't say anything after that but when the movie and the wine finished, they all decided to sleep down there.

Now, she's giving Derek the keys to her old apartment and watching him head off with four moving guys. He had kissed her and Stiles on the forehead, promised them pie and Allison realizes just how much she missed that.

"Now that he's gone, you gonna tell me the real reason you quit your job?" Stiles asks, momentarily looking back at her before continuing his Wii tennis game. She's nestled in the couch, a book in hand and Zayden asleep at her feet. She feels small thinking about it, how Erica flashed her eyes to make her talk as if Allison wasn't the genetic mishap of a predominantly Were family.

"My captain, she assaulted me." Stiles drops the controller, turning to look at her with his mouth hanging open. His eyebrows are knitted together and she can't tell if he's confused or surprised.

"Assault? Like how?" His hand is starting to jump on his thigh and she knows he's trying to put together the pieces.

"Assault like she beat the sh-"

"Allison, what the fuck!" He punches the wall, waking Zayden out of his sleep. His face is bright red and he's breathing hard enough to pop a lung.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" He growls and Zayden whimpers, crawling on top of Allison to hide on her stomach.

"Because I was scared and I felt weak. I don't have to tell you everything if I don't want to, Stiles." She's covering Zayden's ears now, trying to keep her heart rate down.

"No, these things, you tell me Allison." He steps closer to her and she flinches back on instinct, stopping him dead in his tracks.

"No, Stiles. These things I tell the police department and when I'm ready to, I'll tell you." He's staring at her, trying to decide what to do and she can't find it in herself to meet his eyes.

"I'm telling Derek." She widens her eyes in disbelief, because she honestly can't believe that after telling her brother she didn't want to talk about it he'd go and tell Derek. Zayden starts crying, pulling on her shirt like he wants her to calm down.

"If you break my trust like that, I'll never speak to you again. You know I make good on my word."

"So you can tell Lydia but not me and Derek? Your own flesh and blood?"

"I didn't tell her anything! Because I'm not fucking ready to talk!" She's yelling now and Zayden's pulling harder on her shirt. She gets off the couch, holding his head to her chest and moving past Stiles.

"You're a fucking liar!" He shouts, punching the wall again.

"Fuck you, Stiles." She's running out the house, slipping on a pair of tennis shoes that look like Cora's before running to her car and buckling Zayden up. Stiles is calling her back, looking lost and confused but she doesn't have the energy to explain to him why you can't force a person who was in a situation like that to talk. So she leaves, cooing sweet nothings at Zayden to calm him down. It's pouring outside, pelting the car and making it hard to see down the road. Allison could only think of Lydia, holding her hand, playing in her hair, trying her best to comfort Allison because that's all she wants right now. She has no real destination at this point, just driving to drive and talk to Zayden about things he can't understand. It's easier than thinking about the shit her life is going to now.

"It's not weird that I fell in love with her the third day of her being there right Angel?" She looks at him in her rearview and he kicks, just happy to be spoken to.

"No." He giggles, making her smile in the mirror.

"She was like a breath of fresh air, I've never met help anyone like her. I should've gone after her, like some sort of cliche cause I know she likes that stuff. Someone running after her and kissing her in the rain, professing my love." She laughs and so does he, she finally finds it in herself to wipe at her eyes. She's been crying for days, her eyes swollen and her heart heavier than it's ever been, but she's sick of it. She plugs her phone into the car, Sia filling the confined space and for the first time in the six days since Lydia left she feels like she can breathe without crying. The itch to fight, to tear the skin on her knuckles is still there but she feels fine taking the scenic route. She turns the curve of the highway to see a car crashed into the trees. She slows down, pulling her car to the side. She can't see anyone in the car or around it and she sits there wondering if she should even get out of the car,

"I am an officer of the law aren't I?"

"Rosie, crash." He cries, pointing to the wreck and she groans pulling out the keys and getting out. The rain smacks her in the face as she runs across the road to the car, checking inside and seeing nothing but a purse. It's brand new and it looks like a rental, she doesn't check inside just yet. Walking around to the other side of the car she sees foot prints in the dirt but no people and groans, of course she has to go investigating in the pouring rain with a toddler in her car.

"Hello?" She yells out into woods, pushing the hair sticking to her forehead back. She looks to her left and sees a figure walking closer.

"Allison?" The person yells, waving their hands. The rain is making it hard to see and she guesses she should be more cautious of this suspicious person yelling her name, but something in her tells her to move so she does. Moving closer she sees that it's a woman, can tell by the figure and height.

"Ma'am are you alright?" Allison yells again, squinting to get a better view, wishing she would've gotten her glasses when they told her to. The woman starts running towards her and now might be a good time to stop walking towards her but she doesn't. Instead she moves faster, barely refraining herself from running. The person gets closer and she can make out a face, no blood and soaking wet and before she can register who it is she's tackled to the ground.

"Oh my god, Lydia?!" The tiny girl has her arms wrapped tightly around her neck and Allison's grateful they fell in the street instead of the mud.

"I know that I hurt you, I'm so sorry. I love you, Allison. I loved you from the moment I saw you, I knew from the moment I saw you I was spending my whole life with you. And I was scared, I was terrified and stupid because I've seen mates not work out. I've lived through it and I could never deal with the pain of loving and losing you and I'm sorry I ran from you."

"What are you doing here?" Allison asks, because she can't comprehend, can't believe that she's here holding Lydia in her arms and Lydia's professing her love. This type of shit only happens in movies. "You should be in San Francisco."

"I stayed with my mom, I was going to fly back but I couldn't leave you. I can't leave you."

"I love you t-" She's cut off by lips on hers, cold and slippery but eager. The kiss isn't perfect by a long shot, Lydia barely makes it to her mouth and the rain dripping from her face falls into Allison's nose, choking her slightly. But it's Lydia kissing her and it's Lydia who's caressing her face like she's the most delicate thing she's ever seen. It's Lydia that Allison is kissing and that's better than a perfect kiss. Lydia pulls away, resting her forehead on Allison's cheek.

"I finally got my Notebook kiss.." She mutters and Allison laughs, running her hands up Lydia's side just cause she can.

"You're hotter than Rachel McAdams, so it's a win/win situation here." Lydia grins at her, pulling her in for another kiss.

 

"So at the wedding, I should be the guest of honor because if it wasn't for me you two wouldn't be eyefucking each other right now." Cora boasts, plopping down on couch and pulling Kira down into her lap.

"The guests of honor are the brides." Derek counters, dropping a huge binder in front of Allison. It has Laura's initials on it and she hates the pang she feels in her chest, wants to cry when she opens it. There's a picture, from before the fire, in the first page. Allison's on Laura's back, hair buzzed, skin golden and half asleep. Laura's smiling that smile that used to make Allison feel inadequate and whole at the same time, she sported the same cut as Allison and her eyes were like Derek's that summer. Something that Allison and Laura spent hours giggling over in their mothers room while getting their makeup done for Aunt May's wedding.

"Why were you both bald?" Lydia asks, gently putting her hand over Allison's. She hadn't realized that she was shaking until then,

"Cora dyed her hair and it fell out, so we all shaved our heads in solidarity." She doesn't expect her voice to be so weak when she speaks, is grateful for Lydia's presence. She feels all eyes on her at the moment and she has to close her own, feels too exposed in the room. She took Laura's death the hardest, wouldn't eat for days because it wasn't Laura's cooking, couldn't stand the fact that she had Laura's long black hair and dyed it light brown, couldn't even listen to music without breaking down for a whole year.

"I want this picture in the slideshow." Lydia cuts through her thoughts, sliding the picture out of her hand and kissing her head. They spend the whole day going through the photo album, only taking a break so Kira could drag them outside. By the end of the day, Allison and Lydia have 500 photos to fit into a three minute slide show and tomorrow will consist of picking the font and color of their wedding invitations. If it were up to Allison, she'd just send everyone a text and that's that. But Laura would roll over in her grave and Lydia would put her in a grave if she did that. They drag themselves up the stairs, Lydia holding Allison's hand even though they haven't spoke since 7 and it's 12 now.

"Allison." Lydia calls softly after they've gotten ready for bed, she's still standing in the doorway of the bathroom watching Allison toss around in bed.

"Yeah?"

"I love you and I know all this planning is driving you crazy. We don't have to go through with a huge wedding if all of this is making you unhappy." Allison slides out of bed striding over to Lydia, pulling her into her arms and burying her nose into her hair. Allison used to think that Lydia used strawberry scented conditioner, but these past six months have shown her that Lydia just smells that way. Like every good thing in Allison's life and some desserts she hasn't tried yet. She feels safe with Lydia's thin arms holding onto her like she's her anchor, like she's scared Allison's gonna run. And Allison, never thought she'd be this happy ever again. After the fire, after losing Laura, after losing Scott she never thought she'd feel whole again. Now she knows she'll never be empty because Lydia fills up every inch of her with lopsided smiles and spontaneous adventures through the woods at 3am. Fills her up with every ounce of love she thought she lost when half of her family died and more. She's everything and nothing Allison has ever wanted in a person and Allison can't help but think that it's more than the mate connection.

"I'm happy." and this time she means it.

**Author's Note:**

> [Come Yell At Me.](http://angelmalia.tumblr.com)


End file.
